Thursday, June 17, 2010


"1 Peter 3:7 (Contemporary English Version)
7If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor, because she isn't as strong as you are, and she shares with you in the gift of life. Then nothing will stand in the way of your prayers."

So, here is some more good stuff to think about for those of us who are married or thinking about getting married. Again from the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas he throws out the verse above. The chapter is on Good Marriage Fosters Good Prayer. I don't do such a good job at praying, I forget....a lot. Maybe because I'm new at it or maybe because I'm a little lazy or maybe because I don't feel as comfortable right now doing it. I do write prayers on occasion because I enjoy writing and I express myself better when I write it down. So, when this chapter came up I was curious. There is an importance of Marriage to Prayers and I'm gonna layout a few idea's that the author laid out so we can think about this.

* "When Peter says that men must be considerate of their wives and treat them with respect so that nothing will hinder their prayers, he's directly connecting our attitude toward our wives with the fundamental Christian discipline."

So, with that being said and how the author describes it further (in my own words) is Paul is telling us that marriage will make our prayer lives, not that prayer will improve our marriages. I can see this. If my husband and I are supposed to be one flesh yet we aren't acting like we are told we should act in the bible then this will not only hinder our prayer lives but a lot of other things. If our marriage isn't good, if we don't respect eachother and take care of one another than we are distracted by those things which cause distraction in our prayers, which could possibly lead us away from our main serve. Our marriages need to be healthy, we have to know how to love eachother, to treat eachother and live in a selfless way. It isn't about what I want or what I need. I have to let that selfish part of me go so that my husband and I can grow closer together in eachother and in God. When Michael and I are in harmony, I can focus more, pray more, love more, and have my focus where I need to have my focus!!

* "So, men, ask yourself a question: Do I respect my wife? If prayer has been a problem area for you, this could be the first place to look for some answers to why you've been having difficulties. And then follow this thought with another question you can ask your wife: Am I considerate of you?"

So, I've already admitted that I have a hard time praying and then I read this and hello there is my answer. Do I always respect my NO. Do I try really hard recently and have been doing a lot better....YES! I don't even want to ask him that question because quite frankly the truth hurts and I don't know that I want to hear it! In the past I haven't been considerate at all, I didn't take into count what he might want or need, emotionally, physically, materialistically. It was all about what I was going through, what I needed and granted I was going through a lot but I didn't have to be so selfish and I didn't mean to be selfish and I don't think I seen it as being selfish until I looked back at situations. Now that I am trying to change and be the best person I can be I can tell my heart has changed, some of my thinking has changed. Something that I would have lashed out about a few months ago I am now able to hold my tounge. So, I can see God working on my heart already and answering prayers that I have prayed over and over again. I am so thankful for that!!

There is a whole other section in this book on Sex and Prayer but that's just too wierd for me to put together any thoughts on right now so I won't even go there!

* "Many marital disputes result precisely from this: You want something but you don't get it" James says we don't get it because we're looking in the wrong place. Instead of placing demands on your spouse, look to God to have your needs met. That way you can approach your spouse in a spirit of servanthood."

There are a lot of things that I have wanted and now reading this statement I think "well who am I to ask Michael to give me that". I can't put some of those demands on Michael because a lot of what I need boils down to things I do need to take to God. Michael can't fix what the last man broke, or fill the void my mother or father didn't fill, and he can't take away my insecurities. It's not his fault that in the back of my mind I always wonder if he's cheating on me, or when he's going to leave me like everyone else did. Those are my issues and I can't dare ask him to try and fix it. But when I feel lonely or scared, or anxious I need to pray about that. Michael or anyone else can fill me up where I need to be filled up. I've always looked in the wrong place.

The next chapter is How Marriage Exposes our Sin and that could get a little deep and my brain is tired tonight so I'll leave that for tomarrow. I'm so thankful for this book because it makes me focus on me and my faults and stops me from focusing on everyone else's faults. I'm a fixer upper kinda gal, so I love to get people who are really messed up and sort through their problems. I've found that most of the time it does no good for me or the other person and I have enough issues of my own anyway! So, thanks for reading my blog for those of you who are. Thanks for not judging me as this gets deeper and deeper. I wasn't going to analyze my life or this book but I read something and I feel I need to share it with everyone else. Be ready for the next should be interesting!